Saturday, January 26, 2008

Supporting Katie, Parts 1 - 4

I have begun to write bits and pieces of the back story of Katie, her friends and her family.  

This is the first part of the story of how Syd nursed Katie after Katie had been raped.  This first part is brutal as it is Katie's description of her assault.  

Title: Supporting Katie, Parts 1 - 4
Author: Tarabeth
Warning: Detailed description of rape.  
Characters: Katie, Syd, Claire, Chris/Verge and Jaime
Implement: Hand & Hairbrush

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Syd bought the Victorian the year that Chris and I started graduate school. She moved into the top flat and Chris and I into the lower flat. She let us live rent free as her way of helping us finance our education. Chris and Verge were still dating, but Verge was in Los Angeles completing his last year of the Nurse Practioner program at UCLA. Claire was in medical school at UCSF and Jamie was beginning his freshman year at UC Santa Barbara.

Chris and Verge tried to see each other as often as possible, but as poor grad students, even the $70 roundtrip flights between the bay area and LA could hamper their budgets, and 10 hour drives over the course of a weekend played major havoc with study time.  

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It was one of the rare weekends that Chris was able to get off to LA that it happened. I had gone for a jog late Friday afternoon. I was running on my favorite trail that bordered a small creek. We were having a warm fall; it was in the high 80’s in the middle of October. I was only about a third of the way through my run when I noticed the man standing on the side of trail. He looked and felt out of place, but I really didn’t think much of it, until I was quickly jerked to a stop. He grabbed me from behind, quickly placing his hand over my mouth, so that I was unable to callout. He whispered a warning in my ear as he pulled me the off the path and into the bushes.

I don’t remember the exact sequence of events, but in the scheme of things, it probably doesn’t matter. He had instructed me to keep my eyes shut, so I have no real visual memories, what I have the sounds and feelings.

I remember, the jingle of his belt buckle as he undid his pants and the sound of his zipper coming down.

I remember him pushing my running shorts out of the way and tearing my underwear to gain access to me.

He penetrated me with his fingers before he raped me. I remember feeling my blood lubricate his fingers.

I remember the feel of him thrusting against my cervix. When he was finished, I heard him straighten and pull his pants back up.

I remember being so thankful it was over and quietly crying while I waited for him to leave. He didn’t leave. What he did was to take hold of me and flip me over; he pulled me onto my hands and knees and he sodimized me.

He took another rest before he again vaginally raped and sodimized me.

I don’t know when or how he left, or how long the whole event took.

I don’t remember crawling out from under the bushes.

I do remember walking home as the sun set. I was covered in sweat, semen and dirt.

When I returned to the Victorian, I removed my clothes, turned on the shower, crawled under the spray and rinsed the dirtiness from my body. The water had not yet begun to run cold when Syd found me sobbing on the shower floor, curled up in the fetal position.

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I remember very little of the other things that happened that night.

I don’t remember how we got to the hospital; I have no idea how or when Claire arrived, and no memory of talking to the police. Although, I do remember hearing the police officers talking just outside of the curtain that was pulled around my bed. They were discussing the fact that because I had showered I had pretty much ruined any chance of their being able to make an arrest. Tears ran down my face and I curled back into a ball upon hearing this. Syd softly kissed me on the forehead as she gently let go of my hand and gave it to Claire to hold. I could hear Syd not so gently telling the officers off, and for the first time in hours I felt the smallest semblance of safety.

I gave into the recently administered sedative and fell asleep.  

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I awoke in my own bed but something seemed odd, my closet and door were in the wrong place. I sat up and realized I really hurt. Tears strolled down my face in confusion and remembrance.

Syd quickly sprang from the winged chair in the corner. She sat next to me and gently rocked me and spouted calming reassurances of my safety.

“What’s wrong with my bedroom?” I asked.

Syd smiled gently, “I had Chris and Verge bring your things up to my guest room. I thought I could take better care of you up here.”

“I don’t…” I started.

Syd shot me a very loving but very stern look.

“Thank you,” I said, “it does feel safer here with you.”

We sat quietly for a while, until I groaned, as I need to shift positions.

“I have some pain meds for you,” she said, and then glanced down to my lap, “and some ointment. I will get it for you.”

She returned with a glass of water and two tubes of ointment.

I scooted back against the headboard and pulled my knees into a tight ball. “You’re not putting that on me,” I told her.

“No, honey, I won’t. But you will feel a lot better if you put it on.”

I shook my head, to inform her there would be no touching.

She stayed where she was and set the glass of water, pain medication, and ointments on my dresser. “Katie, you will heal without them, but you will heal faster and hurt less if you apply the ointments. I won’t make you. I love you and don’t want to see you in any more pain than you have to be,” she said before she turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.

I took the pills, showered, applied the ointments, dressed and went to find Syd. She was in the kitchen making sandwiches.

“How did Chris and Verge move my furniture? They are in LA for the weekend,” I asked her.

“I called them from the hospital and they drove home last night. They will be up for lunch in a couple of minutes.”

Tears began to fall down my cheeks, “I’m not really hungry. I think I’m going to go back to bed,” I said as I got down off the bar stool to leave.

Syd was there in an instant, pulling me into a hug. She stroked my head, “You need to eat and you are going to have to see them sometime.”

How could I see them, actually look at them? What do you say when you are not the same person you were the last time you saw your friend?

Syd continued to stroke my head, “It will be okay; you love each other.”

How could they even stand to be around me? What do you say to someone who has just been raped?

I heard them coming up the stairs, and Syd lessened her embrace. Verge ran over to me and pulled me into a tight hug, “I would have come home if you had asked, you didn’t need to go and get raped to get my attention.”

Chris and Syd gasped, I pushed Verge away and slapped him upside his head, “I wasn’t sure if a simple mugging or fondling would do, but I will remember next time all I need to do is ask.”

We smiled at each other and he pulled me into another hug and cried onto my shoulder, “I am so sorry, Baby, so sorry, this never should have happened to you.”

I felt his tears on my cheek, and my own eyes began to tear again, “I love you,” I told him.

“You better, I don’t move furniture at 2:00 am for just anyone,” he said. Which was followed by a high pitched, “OWE!” When Chris swatted him and took Verge’s place hugging me.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Monday when Verge was still around I didn’t think much off it, he only had Monday classes once a month. Tuesday I was a little more skeptical, but I was still pretty dazed and confused so I let it pass. Verge was doing a great job of keeping my mind occupied and busy, mostly by talking me through bad daytime television and requiring my input. We were cuddled together on the couch when Jamie came storming in the house.

He marched right up to Syd and shouted, “How dare you not tell me!”

Verge and I looked at each other with extreme fear for Jamie’s future, neither of us had ever seen any one talk to Syd that way and not regret it.

“I am part of this Family too, did you not think I had a right to know?” He asked still yelling. His chest was heaved out and for the first time he really resembled a man and not a boy.

I turned to Verge, “I didn’t know he didn’t know,” I said.

“I didn’t either…until he called this morning,” Verge winced.

I smiled.

“He had to have driven pretty fast to get here,” Verge continued. “It must be because of that big crush he has on you.”

I blushed, “I can’t help it if he has a crush on me.”

“Well not sleeping with him probably would have helped,” Verge teased.

“You told me I should sleep with a guy,” I whined.

“I never said Jaime, and I thought you were Bi.”

“Well, I’m not!” I stated.

“I wish Chris would let us just tell him he is gay, the boy would be so much better off if he just realized it…but no Chris says we should let him figure it out for himself. He didn’t let me figure it out for myself.” Verge said with a humph.

I let out a small laugh, it was my first laugh since the rape and it felt nice. “If we had let you figure it out for yourself, you would still be a virgin,” I teased.

“Well you didn’t help the Jaime situation by giving him a nice warm place to pound in and out of…now he thinks he likes girls…” Verge paused and looked over at me.

My mood had so quickly changed, I was now curled up into a ball and crying into the couch.

“Oh, honey, I am so sorry,” he pulled me into a hug, “I am such an asshole.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Syd had called my parents from the hospital.

My father was busy with his other family; it was soccer season and he said my little half sister, Whitney, would be devastated if he missed a game. He would try and come out to visit later.

I wasn’t holding my breath.

My mother, on the other hand, drove overnight and arrived early Saturday afternoon. She wouldn’t let me out of her sight, and almost needed to be touching me at all times. It had been barely 24 hours when she started her ‘Woe is me my daughter was raped routine. Someone please come pamper me.’ She was requiring more care and support than me.

Syd was ready to give her a good swift kick in the ass--all the way back to Las Vegas, her manicurist, psychic, and pet therapy business.

Monday morning, I explained that I loved her, but I thought I would be better off if she went home.

She had a bit of a huff about my not appreciating her.

I appreciated her leaving.

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Claire was in and out of the house over the course of the weekend and the beginning of that first week.

The rape happened just around Mitch’s and her second wedding anniversary and she was four months pregnant with Dominic.

I was in my room, hiding under the covers when Claire arrived Tuesday evening. She came into my room carrying a tray of chicken noodle soup, a tuna sandwich, and a nice tall glass of water.

I ate part of the sandwich, about half of the soup and drank the water. Claire climbed into bed next to me and began to rub my back. I fell asleep at some point during the backrub and awoke Wednesday morning to her spooning me, and the feel of her small baby bump on my back.

I felt safe, loved, and supported.

Claire was there again on Wednesday night…and Thursday night…and Friday night, rubbing my back until I fell asleep, and spooning me in the morning.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I was curled up on the couch watching Talk Soup, on Saturday morning, when Jamie came rolling into the house. He had said he was spending the night at a friend’s house, but he looked as if he had spent the night in a bar. This did not go unnoticed by Syd.

“Hi Ma,” Jamie said as he made his way to the refrigerator. He withdrew a cartoon of orange juice and drank straight from the carton.

“James,” Syd growled, “you have ten minutes to get yourself showered and get back out here to discuss your recent behavior.”

Jamie emerged from the bathroom. I heard him draw out a bar stool and sit down at the kitchen counter.

It was like a train wreck, neither Syd nor Jamie would be able to see me from the kitchen counter where they were talking. I should have gotten up and excused myself, but I didn’t want to embarrass Jamie, so I just stayed quiet and stayed put.

“How old are you?” Syd asked him.

“19,” Jamie mumbled.

“And what is the legal drinking age in the state of California?” she asked.

“21,” he mumbled.

Oh, this was so not going to end well.

“Would you mind telling me where you have been spending your afternoons this week?” she asked him.

That was weird, it was unlike Syd to change the subject mid-lecture.

“Yes,” Jamie mumbled.

“Let’s try that again, young man. Where have you been spending your afternoons this week?” she demanded.

“On the trail,” Jamie replied.

My heart sank.

“Doing what?” Syd asked.

“Looking for him, wanting to catch him, needing to hurt him,” Jamie’s voice trailed off.

My heart broke.

I could hear muffled sobs. I am not sure if Jamie had buried his head in his hands or if Syd was hugging him.

“Shh, baby,” I could hear Syd trying to sooth him.

When Jamie had calmed down, Syd said, “Come on Jamie, I think we need to go discuss your underage drinking.”

“Maaaaaaaa,” Jamie whined.

“Young man, in this family, breaking the law is going to get you a sore bottom,” Syd informed him. “Come on, let’s get it over with.”

“No,” Jamie said.

Oh, Jame.

“Excuse me?” Syd questioned him.

“I am too old to be spanked,” Jamie answered.

Um, has he met his mother?

“James, your ride back to school, tomorrow, is already going to be an uncomfortable one. I suggest you stop arguing with me, go get my hairbrush off of my dresser and get your fanny into your bedroom.”

“I’m not going back to school tomorrow. I need to be here,” Jamie said in a small whisper.

“No, you don’t. Your being here is not healthy for you, and if Katie knew that you were dealing with this by getting drunk and spending hours out of everyday, endangering yourself by hanging out on that trail, it would break her heart,” Syd lectured.

Tears began to roll down my cheeks.

I heard Jamie quietly crying.

“For both you and Katie, you need to go back to school,” she told him. “Now, come on let’s get this over with.”

The room was quiet for a minute and then I heard a loud swat.

“Move it, kiddo,” Syd said, before I heard another loud swat.

I heard the door to Jamie’s room close, and I got up to go down stairs and out of hearing range. But it was not quick enough, because as I passed Jamie’s door, I heard Syd say, “Jeans and underwear down,” and then came the sound of Syd’s hand swatting his bare bottom. I winced for my friend, for the sweet young man who wanted to be my knight in shining amour. He was in so much pain over not being able to rescue me.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I sat in the stairway until I heard Syd leave Jamie’s room. I turned to get up to go back to Syd’s flat.

Just as I got to the door Syd opened it and pulled me into a big hug, “He’s all yours,” she said sending me towards his door with a firm swat, “That’s for eavesdropping.”

I tried to rub the sting from my bottom, “I wasn’t…” I began.

She raised her hand in preparation for landing another swat, and I quickly turned my backside away from her and backed into Jamie’s room. I entered the room backwards and closed the door as soon as I was inside.

I heard Jamie sniffle, “Ma, please go away. I just want to be alone.”

“It’s me Jame,” I said.

He raised his head up, “Why are YOU rubbing your butt?” He asked.

“Why AREN’T you rubbing your's?” I asked back.

His face turned very red, but he gave me a small smile. “How do you know?” he said, rubbing tears from his eyes.

I crawled onto his bed so that we were looking at one another. “I was on the couch,” I told him.

“The whole time?” he whispered.

I nodded, and we both broke out in tears.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just wanted to catch him for you. I wanted you to be safe,” he cried.

“I have to tell you something,” I became very serious. “I’m not sure if it’s going to make any sense, so I will just say it. I think you did save me,” I told him.

Jamie gave me a confused look.

“You were the first man I was with, maybe the only man I will ever be with consensually, because of you I know that sex with a man can be tender and loving. I will always have that knowledge because of you,” I told him.

Jamie’s tears began to fall again.

“I know that rationally what he did to me wasn’t sex, but some how, some way, what he did feels like it would have been worse if you hadn’t been my first,” I said, as I gently stroked his face. “So, you see, you did save me.”

We laid there quietly for a long time, at some point I rolled over so that we were spooning.

Jamie broke the silence, “You’re not supposed to be making me feel better,” he said rubbing snot onto his sleeve.

I turned over, to face him and gave him a small smile, “Oh, okay then, tell me the dirty details of where you were and what you were doing that caused this morning’s butt roasting.”

He blushed, “I went out drinking.”

“Duh,” I said. “Where?”

He blushed again.

“The End Up,” he whispered.

“THE END UP?!” I questioned.

“Shhhh,” he said. “I think I am gay.”

“Duh,” my hand quickly covered my mouth. Woops, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Jamie’s face turned red, “What do you mean, ‘Duh’?” he asked.

“Um, I kind of knew that,” I told him.

Jamie blushed. “ I don’t understand.”

“It’s called gaydar Jame,” I informed him with a smile. “Yours will increase with time…yours has been a bit skewed,” I laughed, “because as a gay boy, you are supposed to like other gay boys, not gay girls,” I said, emphasizing my point by poking my finger in his chest.

He snorted, “Ummm, I think you’re a little skewed yourself. As a lesbian you're not supposed to have sex with boys,” he said, poking me back on the shoulder.

We both giggled.

“Mmmm, it smells like your mom is making us breakfast. Come on let’s go,” I said pulling him to his feet.

Jamie groaned.

“What’s your problem, college boy, I would think you would love a home cooked breakfast, especially one of your mothers.”

He made a face and rubbed his butt, “It just always seems like she makes a big family meal, that I have to SIT through, right after she has spanked me.”

I laughed. “You’ll live tough guy,” I told him, as I took hold of his hand and walked him into the kitchen.

Claire and Chris were sitting at the table drinking coffee and juice; while Syd, Mitch and Verge were in the kitchen frying up bacon, making waffles, scrambling eggs, and toasting bread.

I sat down on Chris’s lap and gave him a good morning hug and kiss.

Jamie looked sadly down at the kitchen chair and said, “I think I’ll see what I can help with.”

Syd pulled Jamie into hug and whispered something into his ear that elicited a large smile. “Why don’t you slice the fruit Jamie, there’s melon and berries in the fridge,” she told him.

The feast was soon laid out on the table and we began to dig in.

“Jame, what time are you leaving to go back to school?” Chris asked.

Jamie looked at Syd, “I still don’t know why I need to go back to school, Verge isn’t going back.”

Tears welled in my eyes and quickly left the table in tears.


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Copyright TBL 2008