By Katie and TJ as told to Tarabeth at 4:30 in the morning
Implement: Hand
Warning: Environmental Humor
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Katie
Tops are not environmentally friendly! Why, you may ask…well let me tell you.
- Writing Lines – A HUGE waste of paper. Just think of all the poor trees that have died because of a top trying to teach some sort of lesson. Poor little trees they were innocent victims of a top on a tirade.
- Wooden spoons, hairbrushes, switches, canes, and paddles…all further proof of tops role in deforestation.
- Floggers, straps, belts, and leather paddles…what did the little cows ever do to them!
- Lexan Paddles…do we even need to mention the evils of plastic. A top that warms their brat's bottom with a lexan paddle is endangering their poor brats life by exposing them to dioxins.
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TJ's rebuttal, made with Katie over her lap, bare bottomed
I am not responsible for global warming! In fact I think tops do a wonderful job of protecting the environment.
- Revoking driving privileges lessons carbon monoxide emissions.
- Grounding from the television and computer combined with early bedtimes decreases energy usage.
- Tops, by helping their brats to improve their behavior, are making society a safer and more pleasant place.
But in an effort to show you my commitment to the environment I will reduce my carbon footprint, by administering this spanking with only my hand.
You may then write double the amount of lines you were assigned on a blackboard.
Please remember while sitting on your sore bottom that I do not spank you with a switch, cane, flogger, strap, belt or any type of paddle.
And only when you give up eating cheeseburgers and wearing your Dr. Martens will I listen to any rant you have about poor little cows.
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Katie squirming on the hard wooden kitchen chair writes the following line 1,000 times on a small black board.
I need to stay in bed and not get up to play on the computer, and I should have been thankful that my top only chose to assign 500 lines as punishment for finding me out of bet at 4:30 am.
TJ Landis is not personally responsible for global warming.
I will think before I rant at my Top, because over exaggeration and making FALSE accusations are not healthy for the temperature of my bottom.
Copyright TBL 2008