Friday, December 28, 2007

Katie the Environmentalist

Title: Katie the Environmentalist
By Katie and TJ as told to Tarabeth at 4:30 in the morning
Implement: Hand
Warning: Environmental Humor

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Tops are not environmentally friendly! Why, you may ask…well let me tell you.
  1. Writing Lines – A HUGE waste of paper. Just think of all the poor trees that have died because of a top trying to teach some sort of lesson. Poor little trees they were innocent victims of a top on a tirade. 
  2.  Wooden spoons, hairbrushes, switches, canes, and paddles…all further proof of tops role in deforestation.
  3. Floggers, straps, belts, and leather paddles…what did the little cows ever do to them!
  4. Lexan Paddles…do we even need to mention the evils of plastic. A top that warms their brat's bottom with a lexan paddle is endangering their poor brats life by exposing them to dioxins. 
So, as you can clearly see, Tops are responsible for global warming!!!

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TJ's rebuttal, made with Katie over her lap, bare bottomed

I am not responsible for global warming! In fact I think tops do a wonderful job of protecting the environment.
  1. Revoking driving privileges lessons carbon monoxide emissions.
  2. Grounding from the television and computer combined with early bedtimes decreases energy usage.
  3. Tops, by helping their brats to improve their behavior, are making society a safer and more pleasant place.
And shall we not forget that if you, my dear brat, would behave yourself you would not be subject to any of the punishments you have listed.

But in an effort to show you my commitment to the environment I will reduce my carbon footprint, by administering this spanking with only my hand.

You may then write double the amount of lines you were assigned on a blackboard.

Please remember while sitting on your sore bottom that I do not spank you with a switch, cane, flogger, strap, belt or any type of paddle.

And only when you give up eating cheeseburgers and wearing your Dr. Martens will I listen to any rant you have about poor little cows.

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Katie squirming on the hard wooden kitchen chair writes the following line 1,000 times on a small black board.

I need to stay in bed and not get up to play on the computer, and I should have been thankful that my top only chose to assign 500 lines as punishment for finding me out of bet at 4:30 am.

TJ Landis is not personally responsible for global warming.

I will think before I rant at my Top, because over exaggeration and making FALSE accusations are not healthy for the temperature of my bottom.

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Copyright TBL 2008